Dating a divorced man

Summary

Divorced men are notorious for being difficult to date but is this reputation justified? If you’ve fallen for a divorcee, it will inevitably have some impact on your lives together. This article details some of the challenges you’ll face, as well as advice to overcome them. Don’t be put off dating a man because of the D-word – use your partner’s past to your advantage and be the soul mate he’s searching for.

Dating a divorced man

Once you’ve gained a bit of life experience, any man comes with some relationship baggage. Divorced men have the unfortunate reputation for being very difficult to date. It’s even been suggested that there’s only a 1% chance of having a successful long-term relationship with a male divorcee.

Is this reputation fair? Many would argue that, although there are obstacles to overcome, it’s still perfectly possible to have a long and happy partnership with a man with past. If you’re thinking of dating a divorced man, read on to see how you should tackle the following issues.

The ex

Ghosts of olds girlfriends are a fact of life but ex-wives are more problematic. At some point, the man you’re with made a life-long commitment to another woman. Even though the marriage broke down, you need to come to terms with this fact.

Your partner might also be hesitant to make a similar commitment with you. If marriage is what you want out of the relationship, move along at his pace.

The kids

If you’re dating a divorced man, it’s likely he will have children. The impact this will have on your relationship is varied. Your partner may not want more children. If you have kids of your own, they might not like the idea of potential step-siblings. Many families do come together successfully but it takes both time and understanding.

The most important thing is that you bond with your other half’s offspring. You aren’t a replacement for their mum but you can have a meaningful relationship with them based on friendship. For more advice on dating divorced dads, visit eHarmony’s Twitter page.

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His family

Whatever the reason for his previous marriage to fail, hopefully your partner’s family will be supportive. Inevitably you’ll be compared with the ex-wife. Try to shrug off any criticism and approach the situation like you would normally.

Even if the decision to divorce was mutual, it’s still a painful and tiring process. His parents are anxious that their son finds someone who’ll make him happy. Show them that you have his best interests at heart and they’ll soon warm to you.

His friends

Like your partner’s family, with any luck his friends will understand why his previous marriage failed. However, mutual friends of his and his ex-wife may sometimes be cold towards you.

Don’t take it personally – it’s likely that they have sided with the ex-wife out of loyalty so feel unable to welcome you into the group. Be polite but concentrate on making new friends as a couple.

Resource box

Gov.co.uk
Find out more about divorce procedures.

The Monetary Advice Service
Information and help for sorting out your finances after a separation.

BBC Religion
Read about Christianity’s position on divorce.

Giving your love a new start

New Year is the time to make resolutions, usually about health and work, with wishes to stop smoking and drinking topping the list. But instead of making promises that will be hard to keep because they are not backed up by a real will, seize this opportunity to start the year focusing on your love and your partner. We all let our busy lives taking over our feelings and it is sometimes difficult to make time for each other. But love is like a plant and it needs to be nurtured, so this January, make the resolution to give it more attention.

Love

Little presents and special moments

You don’t need to do much to keep love alive, it is all about little details. Grand gestures are not always a sign of real love, especially as they happen only once in a while. In fact, it is the little things of everyday that say I love you more than big presents. If you are in a relationship but not living together, then try to make every time you spend together a little special. If you are living together, try to take some moments every so often to do things together, or go away for a short time.

Ask your partner how their day has been, cook them something, buy them something meaningful they like, their favourite soap or pudding, just to show them that you pay attention to them. If you are very busy, because of your work or your children, make sure that now and again you set some time aside just the two of you.

The Situation: Strangers +Mistletoe= Awkward kiss?

achancetolove:

It’s amazing what mistletoe can do! Spreading the love at Christmas time.

Originally posted on 100.7 Star:

(Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images)

(Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images)

Do you kiss under the mistletoe? Would you kiss a complete stranger under it?

That’s what these guys did! CHECK IT:

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The Christmas Couple

achancetolove:

Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.
A time to spend with your loved ones; to bear gifts, share memories and appreciate the special people you have in your lives.

Originally posted on Torso Vertical:

Next in the Christmas illustration series, it’s not just about the presents and the food. Feel the love this season.

Avnish Panesar
www.torsovertical.com

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FYI!

achancetolove:

It’s the truth! You’ve got to love yourself before anything.

Originally posted on @FTER5 Beauty Buzz:

You are beautiful

Someone told us to remind you how beautiful you are. They also stated how amazing you are. Then they added how unique you are. Just when we thought the conversation was over they told us to remind you how blessed you are. Upon us leaving the meeting they  tapped us on the shoulder and told us to deliver this pic to you. I tell ya, that meeting with GOD this morning was so inspire.

Stay Beautiful…..xoxoxo

Thunder@fter5

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What is Love?

achancetolove:

A great question.. What is love?

Originally posted on The Talk with Ms. Kenya L. Noël:

Image

Source of Photo: Google Images

So I’ve been seeing a lot of relationship guru’s on these social networking sites. What disturbs me the most, are the men that are coaching women on how to find a man. As a woman, I would be more accepting towards another older woman coaching or giving me advice on relationships (i.e. Iyanla Vanzant). Women don’t need coaching on how to find love because love is all around us. Most women who have issues finding love most likely have low self-esteem which is a much deeper issue and a relationship coach probably wouldn’t be the appropriate person to deal with these types of issues. 

Now ladies if you have idea an of what love is or maybe you have the idea of love misconstrued check out what love is below to get some clarity:


I Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

4. Love is patient, love is kind.

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Unconventional Romantic Date Ideas

So you’re going on a date. It could be a first date, or one of many. But you know it’s time to make sure you’re thinking out-of-the-box; you want your date to remember this for a long time so you need to make sure you do something different. So no cinemas or meals at a restaurant- although these can be lovely, they’re not always that quirky.

So, where to start?

Get up for Sunrise

A good place would be the morning; as long as it’s not a first date, anyway. You could wake up at 4am and watch the sunrise together- it’s hard to beat a good sunset, but the sunrise feels like the start of something special. Not many things are as beautiful and romantic, and it’s not something you will see together most days! This can seem like a demanding task to get up early, but if you pack some bacon & eggs you should be just fine. “It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day..”

Make a Fort

This would involve using blankets and sheets with your furniture. Make it feel like you’re camping; set up a miniature fire, perhaps with a candle, and cook marshmallows over it. You could even have a marshmallow-eating contest! This might not sound very attractive, but it sure is funny and rather cute. You could even get a recording of crickets to quietly play in the background to add to the atmosphere. Cosy.

Karaoke

Although his could seem really intimidating for those who don’t like to either sing or get on a stage, if you can get your date to break through that barrier and sing with you I’m sure you’ll end up having a great time. Go somewhere you’ve never been and where you won’t know many people so that you know you’ll both be comfortable.

Make Cupcakes

You can have no experience in baking to do this. Just get a few recipes to help you, get lots of decorations for toppings, and enjoy the mess of making lots of cute little cakes together!

Restaurant in your Room

Turn your room or apartment into a fancy restaurant. The more effort you put into turning the place into restaurant, the better. Sometimes a theme helps, such as making it feel like you’re in Paris or Rome; turn the place into a candle lit room with a romantic ambience then get your friends to dress smart and serve you with the food you made! This will sure to be quirky and your date will find it a lot more charming and fun.

Finger Painting

Make sure you’re wearing aprons because this can get very messy. Find some big paper or maybe a cardboard box and make a masterpiece together with your fingers. This can turn into a lot of fun, no matter the final result of your artwork.

3-Legged Mini Golf

Miniature golf can be great fun, but it can be even more fun when you spice it up a bit. Tie one of your legs together and this will become a hilarious team effort which will inevitably bring you close together..

The most important factor of having a successful unconventional date is to simply have fun. Sometimes wacky is more wonderful. If you can enjoy your time together messing around it will help with your chemistry.

There’s nothing more romantic than settling down together after enjoying such a fun and quirky date. So get creative!